I have a friend who almost gave up not only on Christianity, but on life. On precisely the “issue” at the heart of the Chick-fil-A Wars, my friend reached a dead end in the conventional streams of fragmented modern Christianity. Because he was raised by conservative missionaries in Africa, my friend knew something was wrong when he felt himself attracted to other boys. As an undergraduate at an evangelical school, he went through programs and asked for prayer to be delivered from his homosexuality. But nothing worked. He was gay, and he knew that meant he was not welcome in the church that raised him.
Like so many people who are marginalized by the church, my friend found a sense of belonging with others who were like him. He left the church behind and set out to make a life for himself in the gay community. This was comforting for a while. He met gay Christians who were members of affirming churches. But my friend says he couldn’t find anyone who was able to explain to him why his life still felt meaningless. Even when he got what he wanted, something was still missing. With no other options on the horizon, my friend despaired. Outside a bar in the middle of the night, he lay down on a sidewalk and hoped to die.
But he didn’t. Almost by accident, he stumbled into a little Christian community where he met people whose faith seemed different. They were trying to live their whole lives by the Sermon on the Mount. They served alongside the poor and tried to love one another. They worshiped God with enthusiasm, but their worship wasn’t just a service on Sunday morning. It was their life together, day in and day out.
Maybe this was the answer, my friend thought to himself. Maybe this kind of life together, living the way Jesus taught, was what he was made for. He was experiencing a personal awakening of hope, but he was cautious: what would they think about his homosexuality? Asking for a private meeting, he put the question to a leader in the community. The response: “I don’t know what all that will mean for our journey together. But I will say this: you are a gift, and we want to welcome you as one.”
Twenty years later, my friend is a leader in that same little community. He says God and the people there have saved his life. Of course, his is only one life in the context of one small community. His story does not present an “answer” to the debate that will no doubt continue in these confusing times. But his life and the community that surrounds it is a sign of hope, pointing us toward a new kind of Christianity for our time. While so many of us were trying to figure out the right position on an issue, a community of imperfect people had the grace to welcome another imperfect brother as a gift. In doing so, they not only saved his life. They saved their own, becoming a people that shines with the life that is really life.
